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The Couple's Guide to Thriving with ADHD, by Melissa Orlov Nancie Kohlenberger LMFT
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Review
"Practical, accessible, compassionate, and a pleasure to read...the perfect life companion for couples and coaches who deal with ADHD on a daily basis." - Nancy Ratey, ED.M., MCC, BCC, Author, The Disorganized Mind"Compassionate, concise, and insightful, The Couple's Guide to Thriving with ADHD is filled with 'a-ha' moments, and is a must-read for consumers and mental health professionals alike..." - Noah Rubinstein, LMFT, Founder of GoodTherapy.org"'Thrive' does more than provide a better understanding of ADHD and its effect on couples. It digs deeper, to offer invaluable, practical tips and techniques for dealing with those issues. This is a guidebook to a happier, healthier relationship. It will help reduce stress and bring back the affection and romance that often gets lost in the struggles of ADHD." - Harold Meyer, Executive Director, The A.D.D. Resource Center."Hands down the best book for couples dealing with ADHD. No other book comes even close to providing a balance of the positives, negatives and all that is between: 'Thrive' provides both inspiration and concrete strategies for couples learning to find joy again after years of struggling with ADHD. I love this book!" - Bryan Hutchinson, Author of 7 Crucial Tips for Parents and Teachers of Children with ADHD
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From the Author
This book was born out of my seminar for couples impacted by ADHD. There were so many interesting questions that couples kept asking! Over time I realized that they could be grouped into "hot spots" with which many couples struggled. While the first book (The ADHD Effect on Marriage) introduced couples to what adult ADHD and relationships looks like, there were still these...issues...that kept cropping up. What do you do when your partner often lies to you? How do you rebuild trust? What course of action should you follow if you feel lonely or abandoned because your partner is too distracted? Or, what happens if your partner never seems to give you a break or is constantly critical?While couples are inclined to seek help for their partner (as in "please fix my partner!") it is, in fact, always two people who contribute to the relationship problems they have. That is the definition of a relationship, after all. This book looks more deeply at those interactions - and helps partners tease apart what is really going on in their own relationship interactions. I hope you find it helpful!
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Product details
Paperback: 240 pages
Publisher: Specialty Press/A.D.D. Warehouse (April 1, 2014)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 193776110X
ISBN-13: 978-1937761103
Product Dimensions:
5.5 x 0.8 x 8.5 inches
Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.4 out of 5 stars
53 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#75,346 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
This is a difficult book to rate for several reasons. I'm the ADHD partner in my relationship and some of the characterizations are very accurate and the suggestions seem to me to be hopeful, at least. My partner, however, became incredibly discouraged when we were reading it and maintained that it made him feel as though a lot of what he though were some of my quirky and unique behaviors are actually symptoms of what he now sees as a grave disability. The book's approach also assumes that it is the male partner, not the female partner, who has ADHD. While Orlov addresses the reasons for this approach it's unfortunate, I guess, when a woman is the one whose ADHD introduces challenges into a relationship.I'm not sure I have the deftness to express precisely why this is a problem, but I will try. To work through a couple's guide to thriving with ADHD, requires both partners to be willing to give it a shot (and this is the easy part), the ADHD partner to make great effort to monitor him or herself and to undertake often difficult personal change, and the partner without ADHD to be both patient and empathetic, to not pathologize all of the ADHD partner's behaviors and to refrain from seeing setbacks as failures or an unwillingness to change. It's my observation or belief or whatever you want to call it that women are socialized to be more patient and empathetic, that women are often socialized from a young age to take a supportive role with loved ones and family members, and that as a result it's perhaps easier for women to take the steps prescribed for the non-ADHD partner than it is for men. I do not want to suggest that men in general are impatient or lack empathy or are quicker to identify setbacks as failures, but I do think if there were a book specifically for couples where the woman has ADHD and not the man, the typical symptoms would be identified differently and the strategies for addressing the challenges that arise as a result of those symptoms would also be a little different.
It focused heavily on the male/husband ADHD and I was exploring female/wife ADHD so many of the examples were difficult to follow...seemed a bit stereotypical with males behaving in predisposed ways and females making adjustments.
Well-written and insightful. Has already helped my marriage and my husband hasn't finished it yet!
This book is not concise enough to be written for an easily distracted ADHD person. Too wordy. Within the first few pages of this book the authors recommend that you read another book (written by one of the authors) since they couldn't fit all the extra info into this one. So it seemed a little sales-y. It does contain some useful information but like most self-help books it tends to make the same point over and over again.
This book is the best I've read on the topic. I'm a psychologist and have read many books about adult ADHD and relationships, but rarely find one that is so informative and easy accessible to someone who is not a mental health professional (as well as being helpful to therapists). I have already recommended this to several patients and will continue to do so.
Super informative.
Informative...well-written. Quick read. Affirming of what I know to be true with living with ADD. The writer's content should comfort anyone distressed by behaviors, communication styles, and way of thinking not understood until reading the book.
Excellent book on the subject. The author writes from experience and it is telling. Clear information to help both the ADHD person and the non-ADHD spouse. Highly recommended
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